It’s all too familiar.

Last year this time I was very sad … spent most of my time hiding in my room.

Now when i’m in my room at home I feel almost the same. I cannot help feeling that everything will fall apart. I’m scared.

And I sorta see it falling apart already. Oh no. I’m going through the same cycle over and over again. Guy likes me, I like him, then I get clingy, I get whiney, he cannot take it anymore, he’s fed up, then he leaves me. That’s basically the story of my love life. And to my utter stupidity I am acting the same script, the same act, all over again! CRAP.

I lay in bed hiding under my comforter for a long time…

Then I surrendered control… It’s not for me to decide where this leads anyway. Something could happen out of it, nothing could happen, and either way it will be well with my soul. Your will be done and not mine, Lord.